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Humor for "Engineers"

MISCELLANEOUS ADAGES AND SAYINGS

He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
 
Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.
 
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
 
All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
 
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
 
Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.
 
I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'
 
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
 
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
 
God put me on Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die!
 
The human brain is like a railroad freight car -- guaranteed to have a certain capacity but often running empty.
 
Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
 
How to win a case in court: If the law is on your side, pound on the law; if the facts are on your side, pound on the facts; if neither is on your side, pound on the table.
 
This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.